Next Life" by Woody Allen":



In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead

and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home

feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go

collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold

watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until

you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink

alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high

school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You

have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And

then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like

conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger

quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I

rest......